Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my shit smells like andre
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
