So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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