I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize