I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
