The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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