You work out of a Hotel?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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