What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
