My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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