just come out here and I will go home with you...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
