i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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