Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
