I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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