So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize