my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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