I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
