she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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