We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
