I feel great
I just peed on a car
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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