you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
