I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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