I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
