no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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