meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
