If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
