sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Life is so much better after having sex.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
