Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
no you cant smoke seaweed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
