Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize