just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
