So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
