i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize