i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
PANTIES FOUND
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