I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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