Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
