I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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