The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
