come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
