Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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