I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize