You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
