Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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