All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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