I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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