Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
