Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
