In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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