I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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