nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
