Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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