I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
