Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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