I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am one with the molecules
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
