I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
