Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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