Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Quick, to the slutcave!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
