I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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