I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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