I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
