I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
