I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize