Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
