yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize