did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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