I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
