If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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