it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
