So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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